


Wrong

by Subtlety Lost (fishstic)



Series: Light in the Darkness [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Pain, Self-Destructive Tendencies, Self-Hatred, and my own, and realized things, and the porn just kind of never made it in, but it's also really really gay, like that Cassandra wouldn't let her love force themself to do something that was hurting them, look okay this started out as me trying to write smut, or at least it was, so it's vaguely porn with plot, then i got into the characters' heads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 20:30:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8815273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishstic/pseuds/Subtlety%20Lost
Summary: “It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask to have been raised the way you were. You didn’t deserve what happened to you, and you can’t help that it’s affected you. I don’t want you to get hurt. Especially not by or because of something you actually want to do.”--A lot of things can go wrong when you finally tell your crush that you like them. Ruka never expected that one of the things that might go wrong would be the crush liking her back.





	

It was wrong. Everything was wrong. That's why she was on the roof of the tavern. She hadn't really expected or wanted anyone to join her, but she certainly didn't tell Sera to leave when she did.

“Not gonna ask why you're here,” Sera said as she sat down beside Ruka. “Thought you might be a little lonely.”

Ruka didn't reply. She was busy watching Cassandra practicing down below, watching and thinking. It was wrong, she knew, to want Cassandra this badly, to want any woman this badly. Her husband could take everything away from her if he wanted, everything except how Cassandra made her _feel_.

Her grip on the edge of the roof tightened a little as she thought about how Cassandra's touch was electric and left her skin tingling every time they brushed hands or Cassandra moved her into the correct position in her swordsmanship lessons. She closed her eyes but all she saw in her mind was Cassandra's rare but incredibly beautiful smile; all she heard was Cassandra's beautiful laugh. It was everything she'd ever wanted, and it was all horrifically wrong.

“You okay?” Sera asked carefully.

“Everything she does makes me feel happy ways I didn't know I still could,” Ruka said. “And it's all wrong.”

“Why’s it wrong?” Sera asked. “You can’t control who makes you happy.”

“It just is,” Ruka replied. “I’m not supposed to like girls. I _am_ a girl. It’s wrong.” She turned away from watching Cassandra a moment to look at Sera, who was frowning.

“And who told you that rubbish?” She hadn’t heard Sera sound so angry since they’d found those dead servants at Halamshiral. “I bet it was that worthless husband of yours. I’ll kick his--”

“It was my family. First it was my parents, then my grandparents and after them it was everyone except Elissa and Aydan,” Ruka said quietly, but not quite whispering. “My husband says it too, that’s why my parents forced me to marry him. They can’t _all_ be wrong, despite what Elissa says.”

“Well they are,” Sera said.

Ruka started to reply but she wasn’t sure what to say.

“Look, I know it can be hard to go against what everyone who should know what they’re talking about says, but people can be wrong no matter how certain they seem about a thing,” Sera said. “Ain’t nothing wrong with a girl loving another girl.”

Ruka looked down. Even if it wasn’t wrong, what was she supposed to do? It wasn’t like she could act on any of the feelings she had about Cassandra even if she wanted to. Her husband killing her for it was a very real possibility. She wasn’t important like her cousin, like the Inquisitor Elissa. Her death wouldn’t affect the Inquisition at all, and her husband knew that.

“I know you’re scared,” Sera said. “Your husband is a bad man. He hurts you, he yells at the servants, even the horses don’t like him. But you can’t let that stop you. Tell the seeker you like her. She, Creepy, and I can protect you. You don’t deserve to be hurt just because you like girls. You’re a person, no one deserves to be hurt just because of who they like. You deserve to be happy.”

"Sera, if I tell Cassandra I like her and my husband finds out, he will kill me," Ruka said.

"We won't let that happen," Sera replied fiercely.

"I've been married to this man for eighteen years, that's more than half my life--"

"And you survived. Life has thrown a lot of shit at you. Hurt you in innumerable ways, yeah? But you're still here," Sera said. "You're here and you're alive. You survived that. Cassandra and I, we won't let you not survive this."

Ruka sighed and pushed back on the roof so that she could stand up. “I can't let you put yourself in danger because of me.”

“Well, Ruka, I'm afraid you can't stop me,” Sera replied.

“No, Sera, please,” Ruka turned away quickly so Sera wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. “Please don’t. Elissa would never forgive me if you got hurt trying to help me.”

“You say that like you think none of us are trying to help you already,” Sera said standing up herself and gently putting a hand on Ruka’s shoulder. “Ruka, believe it or not, we care about you.”

Ruka didn’t reply at first. _It doesn’t make sense. Wrong._ She took a deep steadying breath then said, “Elissa sent him away with a group of soldiers so that I could talk to Cassandra. Cassandra’s been teaching me to defend myself. Varric and Josephine keep me busy and Cole tries to cheer me up some times. What do these things mean?”

Sera walked around Ruka, taking her hand gently as she did so. “They mean ‘I love you’ in their own simple ways. Some people don’t _say_ ‘I love you’ they show you that they do.”

“I don’t understand,” Ruka whispered. She felt a strong urge to pull her hand away from Sera’s but resisted it, knowing that Sera was only trying to help.

“That’s okay,” Sera said. “I wouldn’t expect you to just suddenly understand something what goes against everything you’ve ever known. Please just try. I promise, both as Sera _and_ as Red Jenny, that we won’t let your husband hurt you anymore.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I don’t.”

Ruka nodded slightly. She looked down at Cassandra and was relieved to see that she was still practicing with the training dummies. “What if she thinks it’s stupid?”

Sera tilted her head slightly. “Trust me, she won’t think it’s stupid.”

“But what if she does?” Ruka half-whined.

Sera squeezed Ruka’s hand gently. “It won’t be the end of the world, Ruka.  She isn’t the only woman in Thedas. A rejection from her isn’t a rejection from every woman out there.”

Ruka looked down and whispered, “Will you come with me? Please?”

“Of course,” Sera replied. “This way.”

Ruka nodded and followed Sera down onto a lower part of the roof, then in through a window into Sera’s room. When they left Sera’s room, Sera was carrying her bow, a fact that confused Ruka who neither noticed when she had picked it up nor understood why she might need it. Despite the confusion, she didn’t actually ask about it. The thought occurred to her that maybe Sera would rather kill Henri than let him hurt her again. Somehow, she was okay with that.

They walked together down to the lower floor of the tavern and left it in silence. As they walked, she wondered why this was so important to Sera. The first thought to come to mind was that Sera maybe had a bet with someone. After that thought another sadder one came to mind, _maybe she’s been through something like this herself?_

She hadn’t been paying attention to where they were walking and didn’t realize they’d arrived at their final destination until Sera stopped her and got her attention.

“You can do it,” Sera whispered.

Ruka took a calming breath and nodded. She took a step toward Cassandra, watching as Cassandra swung the sword with ease. She smiled, some part of her imagined how it would feel to have Cassandra hold her, protectively perhaps, having those strong arms around her waist—she almost missed when Cassandra swung around with the sword, but she didn’t and she managed to avoid getting hit, just like they’d practiced before.

“For a moment,” Cassandra said, “I thought you were too distracted to notice what I was doing. Is something troubling you?”

Some part of her screamed for her to run, and another much braver part of her pushed her on, told her to just keep going. “I had a question, but I’m worried you might think it’s stupid.”

Cassandra nodded. “Go for it. I just might surprise you.”

“Do you like me?” Ruka asked quickly, before she could lose her confidence. “Because I like you and Sera told me to just tell you and I don’t know what I’m doing, but you make me really happy. That’s a bit of an understatement actually.” Ruka felt her hand tingling slightly as Cassandra took it gently and she stopped talking.

“Ruka, I do like you,” Cassandra said. “Quite a lot, if I’m honest.”

Ruka blushed slightly. “What happens now? I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

Cassandra started to reply but was interrupted by an angry voice that sent chills down Ruka’s spine

“Just what do you think you are doing, Ruka?”

Ruka turned around quickly and found herself face to face with her husband, Henri. “I—“

He glared at her and she lapsed into trembling silence. “Go back to your room, Ruka. We need to have a _talk_.”

Ruka’s heart raced. She started to leave but behind her Cassandra stepped forward, putting an arm protectively around Ruka’s waist and holding her sword between them.

“Leave her alone,” Cassandra snapped.

“You think you can tell me what to do?” he sneered.

Ruka shivered in fear. _Maker, he’s going to start a fight with Cassandra. Can she even win?_ After a moment, another thought answered that question as she felt Cassandra’s arm tighten around her waist slightly. _Of course she can._

“I think if you value your life, you _will_ leave her alone,” Cassandra replied.

He leveled a gaze at Ruka that turned her blood to ice, and then turned his gaze to Cassandra. “You presume to think you can tell me what to do with my property?”

“Ruka is no one’s _property_!” Cassandra snapped.

Ruka was pushed away quickly when Henri drew his own sword. One second she was in Cassandra’s arm the next she was being picked up off the ground by Sera and Dorian as Cassandra fought to protect her.

“Dorian?” she asked before glancing back at Cassandra expertly blocking Henri’s every attempt at getting anywhere near her.

“Did you think I’d miss this party?” he joked then in a more somber tone said, “I was coming to return something I borrowed, but I saw him and heard what he said and how angry Cassandra was and decided interrupting would be a distinctly bad idea.”

Ruka watched Cassandra’s fight with Henri. It almost looked like dancing. Her heart beat loudly in her ears, with each clash of the swords it skipped a beat. She was shaking. In her heart, she knew that Cassandra would win, but her mind raced with a single repeated thought: _what if she loses?_

A crowd gathered around them. Someone stepped up behind her, and their voice called out, “Kick his ass, Cassandra!” The crowd murmured about the Inquisitor’s blatant support of Cassandra’s actions.

“You won’t win,” Henri snapped.

“I _won’t_ let you hurt her anymore,” Cassandra growled in response. She parried a strike of his and swung her leg around, knocking him onto his back. He was neither prepared for nor used to fighting with someone who was trained in combat. She leveled her sword at his throat.

He smirked despite his position. “Kill me, Seeker. It’s the only way you can protect that little harlot from me and my friends.”

Cassandra glared but didn’t move as Ruka shouted, “Don’t!”

She surprised herself, and the crowd if the murmuring was any indication, by shouting that. Elissa and a couple of soldiers were quick to take control.

Elissa wrenched the sword from Henri’s as she pulled him up off the ground. She didn’t say a word as she handed him over to the soldiers, but the look on her face was clear. There would be a trial, and he would not survive it. The soldiers nodded and took him away.

Ruka absentmindedly played with the ring on her finger as she watched this. Cassandra put her sword away and, without really thinking about it, Ruka ran over and almost knocked her down in a hug.

Cassandra returned Ruka’s hug fiercely.

The crowd scattered after that, leaving Ruka and Cassandra hugging, as Elissa talked to Sera and Dorian nearby. After a moment, Ruka pulled away from the hug. The feeling of Cassandra’s arms around her, being so close and yet so separate left her desiring to be closer in a way a hug could never satisfy. _Wrong. So very wrong. She just saved my life. I can’t… we can’t… it’s wrong._ “Cassandra?”

“Yes?” Cassandra hummed in response.

“May I kiss you?” she asked quietly. _What if she thinks it’s stupid? This is all wrong._

“Of course, if that is what you’d like,” Cassandra said.

“I would like very much,” Ruka said. She smiled and added, “The brave knight deserves a reward for saving the princess.”

It was Cassandra’s turn to blush then as Ruka pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

She didn’t want to push Cassandra too much, afraid that Cassandra would tell her to stop. Afraid Cassandra would think it all a horrible mistake. Afraid Cassandra knew how _wrong_ it all was; worse was the fear that Cassandra would _care_ that it was _wrong._ Those fears melted away when Cassandra kissed back gently.

It was a gentle kiss, but she was lightheaded. She knew her cheeks were flush and there was definitely no way she could hide what she was feeling from Cassandra. She wouldn’t even have known where to begin; she’d never felt anything quite like it before. It was so unfamiliar, she didn’t want to force Cassandra into something that Cassandra didn’t want. She pulled away from the kiss without a word. Her breathing was a little erratic and her heart was threatening to jump out of her chest. _Keep it together._

“How are you feeling?” Cassandra asked gently, quietly.

Ruka started to reply but stopped short. She couldn’t just _tell_ Cassandra that she wanted her in that way. It was wrong. So very wrong and yet—it was all she had _ever_ wanted. _Will it feel nice? Can it even feel nice?_ After a moment, she stepped back, pulling away from the hug. Her body longed for connection, to feel what it was she had never been allowed, but her mind just kept repeating. _It’s wrong; you’re wrong._

She was almost surprised that Cassandra didn’t try to touch her. Didn’t reach for her hand, didn’t cup her cheek, didn’t put a hand on her arm or shoulder. Just stood there, respectfully keeping the exact distance she had just created.

“Ruka, do you want to come back to my room so we can talk through this in private?” Cassandra asked.

Ruka nodded slightly. _Wrong. She’s making a mistake._ She bit her lip. Never in her life had she ever wanted something so intensely. _Maker, if this is wrong then I don’t want to be right. Let me be the mistake she never has to apologize for._

Cassandra took Ruka’s hand gently. As they walked together to her room, she smiled and said, “When you said you like me, I don’t think like is quite the word you wanted.”

Ruka’s response was an intense blush and something between a gasp and a squeak.

Cassandra chuckled. “I am not blind, Ruka. It’s okay, you know, if you don’t want to say it. These things take time.” She smiled and leaned over for a moment. “I know you’re the one who keeps leaving me books and flowers and chocolates.”

Ruka blushed and tried to hide her face behind her hands. She hadn’t anticipated how hard that would be with someone else holding onto one of those hands. When they arrived at Cassandra’s room and Cassandra released her hand, she found herself wanting once more to run. She wanted to get away before Cassandra could realize that a mistake was being made. She forced herself to stay though. _I’d rather face a thousand rejections than be called a coward again._

She followed Cassandra into the room, her heart anticipating things her mind knew she couldn’t have.

“Talk to me, Ruka, please,” Cassandra said gently as she closed the door behind them.

“I don’t know what to say,” Ruka said frowning slightly. It was true.; she had no idea where to even begin much less what to say. _Useless._

“Try starting with why your cheeks are so flush? Cassandra suggested.

Ruka half squeaked and replied, “I can’t.”

Cassandra sighed slightly as she walked around Ruka, further into the room. She unhooked her sword and its sheath from her belt and laid them on top of her dresser. She sat down on the edge of her bed and smiled at Ruka. “Would you like to know what I think?”

Ruka nodded slightly, trying hard not to show how afraid that statement made her.

“I think you want to do more than just kiss me,” Cassandra said.

Ruka’s heart skipped a beat or twenty and her reply startled her. “Only if you do too.”

Cassandra laughed, or maybe it was a chuckle.

The sound Ruka normally found so beautiful now crushed her heart. _She thinks it’s a joke. I’m a joke._ “Maybe I should just go,” she said quietly. She turned to leave but before she’d even made it to the door she felt Cassandra take her hand. She knew Cassandra was quick but she’d never really paid attention to just how quick.

“I didn’t mean to upset or insult you, Ruka,” Cassandra said quietly. “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I was just surprised is all.”

Ruka shivered slightly—in a good way—when Cassandra stepped forward and gently brushed the hair away from her ear then leaned over and quietly whispered, “If you want to, I’m not against the idea.”

Ruka turned around, her breath catching slightly in her throat at just how close Cassandra was and said, “Don’t you think things are maybe moving a bit too fast? We only just had our first kiss after all.”

Cassandra smiled and kissed Ruka’s cheek gently. “We’ve known each other for over a year and I’ve known for over six months that you have a crush on me. I didn’t say anything sooner because it isn’t polite to point out one’s crush, and because I was afraid of how your husband might react.” She paused for a moment, looking into Ruka’s eyes with nothing but love and trust. “I’ll go wherever you take this.”

Ruka nodded slightly and quietly reached out, putting a hand on Cassandra’s hip. “Are you sure about this? Because I kind of have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never been with a woman before.”

Cassandra chuckled nervously. “Neither have I.”

Ruka nodded. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Perhaps it’s too soon.” She sighed. Her body longed for her to just go for it, but her mind protested. There were so many things that could go wrong. _What if I’m no good? What if one of us gets hurt? What if she doesn’t want me anymore after? This is all wrong._ She looked into Cassandra’s eyes and was nearly overwhelmed by how much love was shining there. _I can do this, even if it’s wrong and we both regret it later. Right now she loves me. That’s what matters._ She bit her lip then leaned over and nuzzled Cassandra’s neck, pressing a kiss to the soft skin and hoping.

Cassandra breathed in sharply and Ruka found herself growing in confidence. This was a kind of freedom she had never expected to have, nor ever realized was possible. Someone actually wanted her. Wanted the things she was doing. Wanted the things _she_ wanted. Someone didn’t think she was _wrong._

She pressed another kiss to Cassandra’s neck, her hand still on Cassandra’s hip. Then she moved, guiding Cassandra, pushing ever so slightly until they were at the bed. She was doing her best to ignore the thoughts in her head that kept telling her that it was all wrong and she needed to stop before it went too far.

She gently pushed Cassandra to sitting on the bed. With a smile, she moved herself to straddling Cassandra’s lap confident in only one thing, that Cassandra _would_ tell her to stop if she did something _wrong_. She trailed kisses up from the crook of Cassandra’s neck. She peppered kisses along Cassandra’s jaw and then pressed one to her lips.

One hand cupped Cassandra’s cheek gently, the other rested on her shoulder. _It’s wrong._ She pressed the kiss a little more, wanting longing for it to be more. _Wrong. Wrong. Wrong._ The fears didn’t ease when Cassandra kissed back. When she felt Cassandra’s hands: one on her back, one tangled in her hair. Nothing eased. _It’s all wrong._ She kept going, despite the tears in her eyes, the desire burning in her chest and in the pit of her stomach was more important. However wrong it might have been, it felt nice. _It shouldn’t feel nice. It’s bad. I’m bad. It’s all—_

“Ruka, what’s wrong. Please talk to me,” Cassandra urged gently.

She hadn’t even realized she’d pulled away from the kiss until Cassandra spoke. “I can’t… this… it’s wrong. Everything is wrong.” _She won’t want you anymore._

“We don’t have to do this if it’s upsetting you,” Cassandra said. “This can wait. I want to help you. Let me be here for you. What exactly do you mean it’s wrong?”

“It’s wrong,” Ruka said firmly. “It’s not… I’m not… I want you so badly and it’s all wrong. I’m not supposed to want this.”

Cassandra gently pulled Ruka close, allowing her to rest her head on her shoulder. “It’s not wrong, Ruka.”

“But it _is_ ,” Ruka replied. “It _is_ wrong. Nothing about this is right. You’re… you’re too important to waste your time with someone like me.”

Cassandra sighed slightly. “Ruka, you’re not any less important than I am. I love you, it’s not wrong to want someone that loves you. You deserve this.”

 _You deserve this._ Ruka stopped talking. _You deserve this. This is what you get. Don’t ever think that you’ll ever be anything more than what you are._ She bit her lip, trembling slightly. _It’s all wrong._

Cassandra held her gently. Ruka waited, in trembling silence, expecting something that would never come. Expecting to get hurt.

“Ruka, it’s okay,” Cassandra whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Ruka shook her head slightly. _Wrong._ “Don’t apologize to me. I don’t deserve that. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the wrong one here.”

“But I did do something wrong,” Cassandra argued gently. “Twice, I’ve said or done something that hurt you without realizing it. You do not deserve to be hurt, even by accident.”

Ruka bit her lip. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I just wanted this so badly. I know it’s wrong… but you and Sera say it isn’t wrong. Elissa… she also says it’s not wrong. But… it _has_ to be wrong. They… they can’t have… I… It… I can’t have spent my whole life being hurt, abused, being forced to do things that go against who I am… trying to change… I didn’t suffer all of that because of a _lie._ I… I couldn’t have. They… they have to be right. It…” she trailed off, putting her face against Cassandra’s shoulder, unable to do anything more than cry.

Cassandra’s arms tightened around her slightly, protectively. “If I could change all that, if I could make it so it never happened, I would. The best I can promise is that it won’t happen again. I won’t let it.” She kissed the top of Ruka’s head. “Some people do a lot of terrible things in the name of what they believe to be true, even when it’s not.”

“I just wanted…” Ruka mumbled against Cassandra’s shoulder before turning her head slightly so she could actually be heard. “I just wanted to be happy. I’m so confused. I… these things I feel… I’ve never felt them so strongly about anyone else before. They’ve always just been… passing, fleeting feelings, easy to ignore. I… I don’t understand.”

“That’s the difference between a crush and love, Ruka,” Cassandra said.

“That’s not exactly what I meant,” Ruka replied. “I _want_ you. I’ve never… look at the position we’re in, Cassandra. This isn’t the difference between love and a crush. This is the difference between… between being _controlled_ and being _in_ _control_. I don’t know what I’m doing, what you’re letting me do. I… just know what I feel.”

Cassandra nodded. “You want love, you want to _make_ love. To someone who cares.”

“To _you_ ,” Ruka replied. “I’ve… felt this with other people. It never lasted, it was never good, never strong. Never… never right.” She took a breath. “I love you. I want this to be right. To be good. To last. I want… I want to give you the storybook romance you’ve always wanted. But that’s not what this is.”

“Ruka,” Cassandra said gently, “You’ve already given me that.”

“How?”

Cassandra smiled. “There’s always two sides to every romance. You let me be the one to ‘save the princess’ as it were.”

“You’re happy… that I ‘let you’ be the protagonist?” Ruka asked.

“I fought your evil husband to keep you safe,” Cassandra said. “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. More importantly, you let me try and help you do it yourself.”

“I’m confused,” Ruka said. “But if it works for you then I’m glad.”

“I taught you to defend yourself,” Cassandra said. “But in the end I still got to save you… that sounds a little condescending out loud. I’m sorry, I’m really not trying to mean anything bad by my words.” She sighed and stopped talking for a moment.

Ruka looked up at her, trying to figure out what Cassandra really meant by all this. Then she remembered what she’d said when she asked Cassandra if she could kiss her. “The brave knight saved the princess,” she said. “You… you were trying to help me be the brave knight. Cassandra, what would you ever need saving from? You were always the brave knight.”

Cassandra blushed. “I just wanted you to have a fighting chance.”

Ruka nodded and nuzzled against Cassandra’s neck. “Now I don’t need one. I have my brave knight, and she has her princess. Though, I must say I’m not actually a princess.”

“According to Elissa, you’re the next in line to be to rule Ostwick,” Cassandra said.

“Not when my parents find out about us,” Ruka said. “And even still… It’s not like I _want_ to be. Plus, that doesn’t make me princess, Ostwick isn’t ruled by a King.”

“I think the important thing here is that you have a brave knight that you love, and I have the woman that I love,” Cassandra said. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I… I’m not sure,” Ruka replied. “But… I have you. At this point, I think the only direction I can go is forward. If that makes any sense.” She pressed a gentle kiss to Cassandra’s neck.

“Ruka,” Cassandra said gently. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

Ruka stopped and pulled back so that she could look Cassandra in the eyes as she asked, “Why not?”

“I don’t think you’re ready,” Cassandra said. “I want it as much as you do, but I don’t think that you’re able to do this yet. You’re going to end up hurting yourself trying to do this thing that goes against what you were raised to believe.”

Ruka started to say something, but she knew Cassandra was right. The only way she’d be able to do this right now was if she forced herself to. No matter how much she wanted it, her mind wouldn’t accept it. “I’m… You don’t sound mad.”

“That’s because I’m not,” Cassandra said. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask to have been raised the way you were. You didn’t deserve what happened to you, and you can’t help that it’s affected you. I don’t want you to get hurt. Especially not by or because of something you actually want to do.”

“Can we sleep?” Ruka asked. “I… know that we both feel… things. And sleep won’t exactly make them go away, but I’m also really tired and I’m sure you are too… and… I don’t want to… I hate saying it…. But I’m kind of scared of going back to my room. What if he gets out of the cell or wherever the soldiers took him? I… I’d just feel safer if you let me stay with you, at least for tonight.”

“You can stay with me as long as you’d like, Ruka,” Cassandra said with a smile as she kissed Ruka’s cheek. “But if we’re going to sleep, perhaps we should change into more comfortable clothes?”

Ruka hummed slightly in response. “Perhaps.”

“Did you have something else in mind?” Cassandra asked. “It’s entirely too cold to sleep without clothes you know.”

Ruka chuckled. “I was thinking that I don’t know if you have anything that would fit me.”

Cassandra smiled. “I can see how that would be a problem, however I’m sure I have at least one thing.”

Ruka nodded and moved off of Cassandra’s lap to let her stand up. She watched as Cassanda walked over to the wardrobe and opened it up. Cassandra looked through the things that were hanging up in the wardrobe.

“Ruka, come over here please,” she said sweetly.

Ruka hopped up and crossed the floor wondering what Cassandra had that she thought was so perfect for her. When she was there, Cassandra turned around and held in her hands a light blue nightgown with little embroidered mountain flowers on it. It was beautiful.

“It’s only a little too small for me,” Cassandra said. “So, it should be perfect for you.”

“It’s almost as beautiful as you are,” Ruka replied.

Cassandra blushed slightly and smiled. “Ah, but it can only add to your beauty.”

Ruka blushed hotly and took the nightgown without a word, walking back over to the bed to change into it, wanting to give Cassandra some semblance of privacy so that she could change into her own nightgown.

Changing was a bit more of a challenge than she’d been expecting. Her shoulders ached when she raised her arms above her head. She managed, barely, almost getting stuck at one point. When she was done, she organized her clothes into a neat pile on the floor and laid down on the bed with her face in a pillow.

After a moment, she felt Cassandra sit down beside her. “Are you alright, Ruka?”

“My shoulders hurt,” Ruka mumbled into the pillow. She was confused about Cassandra’s lack of response until she felt her hands. She was so unusually gentle that Ruka almost hadn’t realized what was happening. Cassandra’s hands worked at the knots in Ruka’s muscles gently, expertly.

“Where did you learn how to do this?” Ruka asked softly gasping.

“I don’t remember,” Cassandra said. “But it’s useful.”

“It’s heavenly,” Ruka lightly moaned as Cassandra worked at a particularly tense spot.

The desire Ruka had felt earlier, burning within her, melted away into a much gentler, much less familiar but just as nice sense of pleasure. She hadn’t been expecting it. This was what she’d wanted though. Connection. True connection with someone she loved, and somehow, everything about it was _right._


End file.
